Kaimi's Search For A Stalker

Permabore Kaimi's latest post is a rather lengthy attempt to snark a Tiff comment made at FMH (Comment #47).

After reading Kaimi's snarkless snark, I get the feeling he has a faint twinge of jealousy that he's never been stalked by missionaries, home teachers, or other well meaning church members. To help him with his quest, here are the Top 5 ways to acquire a Church Stalker:

5. Post an ad on the BYU Wilk bulletin board
4. On Sunday before moving out of the ward, "accidentally" drop a 12 inch Cuban cigar on the floor.
3. Invite the PEC to a keg party in your basement.
2. When people from church knock on the door, carefully open it a crack, look over shoulder nervously, and deny them entrance.
and the Number 1 Way to attract a Church Stalker: [drum roll]

Ask someone to fill in for you on Sunday because you're "meeting with the jw's" again.

Good luck with your quest, Kaimi.