Dear Aunt Snarky:Fanatical for Final Four

As you know the NCAA final four championship games will be this Saturday, April 1, beginning at 5PM CT. One assumes that the GMU/Florida game will be over in time for a fast drive over to the nearest satellite-equiped chapel to see the Priesthood session of conference.

The next game is the problem. It will mostly be on during conference! Do you have any advice, Aunt Snarky? Do the bigwigs in Salt Lake consider the ramifications of the conference schedule? Who should one contact at church headquarters to remedy this situation?

Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Final4 lurkernacle

Dear Final4 lurkernacle,

When you speed over to the Priesthood Session, make sure you drive carefully and don't get in an accident. Safe driving is everyone's responsibility! Crashing into the Stake President, since he will be pulling into the parking lot the same time you are, will make getting a Temple Recommend difficult!

As for the Sunday session, well, all I can tell you is you need to get your priorities straight! Go out and get a TiVo! Then you can record General Conference and watch it after the game is over. Now, I don't want to sit here and lecture you on violating the Sabbath, because it looks like you are already determined to do that, and I would never encourage anyone to do that, but since you are already there, Dear Old Aunt Snarky may as well do the most good she can do!

You know, they played basketball last year, and will play it again next year, so it isn't like you are going to miss anything. Not that General Conference really changes all that much from year to year, since Mormons don't really listen to them from year to year anyway. So, yeah, just keep disregarding the admonitions of our leaders and watch your silly basketball games, and doom the rest of us to another repeat in six months because you don't do your Home Teaching because it conflicts with Baseball seasons or have Family Home Evening since it conflicts with Monday Night Football.

And remember, you can always try to justify watching basketball instead of General Conference by using sports analogies for life and the gospel in Elder's Quorum next week.

Aunt Snarky