Brandon Flowers Takes Down Mormon Stories

John "I heart DAMU" Dehlin's Mormon Stories has been shut down. The usual rumors swirl around ("It got too big for him", "He couldn't deal with the fame", "It was eclipsing his real life", "His membership was threatened by the Church", "His dog ate the hard drive"). But, the sNarcissist knows the truth, as only the sNarcissist could. Here is what really happened: Brandon Flowers was the last person John posted on. Now Brandon is a lovely boy, almost every bit as lovely as me. But, he has this whole "and you can't be a Mormon and be cool! But I'm trying my best!" thing going on, and then John outs him on the Bloggernacle. Humiliated by the extraordinary social force in Mormonism that the Bloggernacle is, Brandon was publicly embarrased in front of all Mormondom and swore vengeance on Dehlin for it. So, he used his Rock n' Roll powers of influence to have John's site taken down to spare him any further problems among the Mormon community, who still think Flowers is the neatest thing since Donny O. Oh, It is so sad when someone's pride gets the best of them and they throw a little tantrum like this, but this is just a lesson to all in the Bloggernacle: Don't mess with poweful pretty boys, they will kill you.

Rumor has it Steve "Super Genius" Evans is going to resurrect his weekly curelom-laden podcast to fill the void left by Dehlin on all Mormon's iPods. If you do, please do have Mark Butler on as a guest, as he is no doubt going to send the Millennial Star arcing through the Nacle sky like a comet.