Dear Septimus,
No, it is I who is the lucky one. I am relieved you have finally been honest with me. And, now, I need to be honest with you. I have had a personal revelation that you and I are destined to be married in the Temple. Yes, Septimus, I love you. That is why I pushed you so hard to get baptised before I went home, so we could be together. I don't care that you are bipolar, its OK, I have an eating disorder because of low self-esteem, so I can totally identify with that. You see, we are made for each other. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that in the spirit world you and I committed to each other to be together forever. Now that Dale is dead, I will be your companion, your comforter, your support.
Love, the one you are to cleave to,
Sister Tidwell
2 comments
Nooooo!
Sister Tidwell, how could you?!? How could you be so blind? It is I, elder Allred, who has been foreordained to be your eternal companion. Ever since we shook hands at zone conference and you held onto my hand for an extra second or two, I have known with every fiber of my being that you are to be my eternal helpmeet. I look forward to multiplying and replenishing the earth with you. And I have already asked Aaron Cox to be my best man at the wedding.
Please come to your senses and get over your silly infatuation with SeptimusH. Heck, he isn't even real. I know, I know, sometimes you girls just can't control your emotions.
Your brother in the Gospel,
Elder Allred
I adore Septimus, but I must agree with Brother Allred. As a mother, Septimus is probably a poor risk. At the moment. But he has distinct wonderful possibilities.
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