Guest Post: Brigham Young Addresses Miss Ardis Parshall

My Very Dear Ms. Parshall,

Whilst I appreciate your esteemed and constant love, I hasten to bring some points to your attention that might serve to illuminate this recondite matter of ass kissing.

Now, firstly, Ms. Parshall, permit me to digress for one moment to address matters pertaining to polity. Owing to your apparent expertise in matters of history, one might have assumed one of such experience would do the research to place such statements into their appropriate historical context, so as not to cast them into a modern light, which light might place them in an unflattering position, and seemingly grant license to those looking to excuse themselves in sin. As such is the case, I would hasten to encourage one such as you to more fully practice their art with greater wisdom and skill, so one might be a servant of the public, and not a detriment thereunto.

Returning to the subject at hand, I would turn your mind about to a thing called the osculum infame. This thing is in reference to an ancient and evil practice of commiting oneself to the devil via a rather unpleasant and shameful act whereupon one enters into his community by ingratiatingly placing one's mouth upon his posterior in a vile and unseemly way, which is then followed by the licentious ritual of adulterous orgy with the evil community, then ultimately consumated with the Black Mass, a flagrant mockery of the Lord's Supper.

The etymology of this ancient phrase, which dates as far back 1303, is such that "kiss my ass" is meant to imply the one you are speaking to has already performed the osculum infame, meaning they are in league with the devil, and so they are as one who does such things as far as you are concerned.

This was the meaning intended in my quotation you have publicized, Ms. Parshall. Namely that our critics, who lie with deceitful tongues and defame us far and wide and appeal to the corrupt politicians who neither protect but only persecute us, are in the Devil's own house, and thus they are damned with him.

I expect no apology from you, but would appreciate you take this small lesson to heart and mind in the future so that you might understand that I had no intention of being profance and vulgar, and thereby offer a bad example to the Saints, but was correctly identifying the damned state of those heretics who would lie and persecute us with no cause, whom the Justice of the Lord will condemn. Worlds without end.

Thx anon submitter