a random John, one of the Nacle's prominent Science Fiction afficionados eagerly looks into the future, anticipating what technology will bring about for Mormons, which includes:
Acceptance of the Technology
Since Mormons have always historically embraced technology, there is no reason to count them out for anything new on the horizon. Mr. Kruger's Christmas in 3D MultiSensoNephronic? Heck yeah! Ooo fer neat! Distributed free in holographic storage format (HSF) disks in this month's issue of the Ensign, printed on a recyclable OLED.
Death
Forget about that genealogy backlog, if nobody dies then no need to do any more Family History or journal writing since they can all tell you first-hand, in horrid detail. Forget about those romanticised sparse accounts of hardship, you will now be harrangued by Great Grandpa Ebenezer's Elementary School walk stories ad nauseum. And, once nobody is dying anymore, it will give us all a chance to finish the work of all the dead people who have already passed. Family reunions will eventually all have to occur outdoors, given the lack of buildings large enough to house the millions of Ricks, Allreds and Smarts in Utah and Idaho. Sure, sure, people will still die from catastrophic accidents, but really, once you can live forever, people will stop skydiving, motorcycle riding and all other high-risk activities. Then again.... Nah, the coming changes in technology will leave us longing for death...the death of others...by violence.
Longing for our Families
How can you long for a family member that is omnipresent? If nobody ever dies, then nobody will ever have to bother with all this depressing stuff about funerals. Sure, morticians will have to move to 3rd World Countries that cannot afford to have custom designed replacement organs created from stem cells, but that is the price of progress, and nobody ever liked creepy Uncle Thanatopsis anyway, so good riddance. And if you can have these organs replaced, like livers and lungs, then will the Word of Wisdom still need to be observed?
Virtual Experience
No need to "Raise the Bar" when the very best virtual correlated Elders and Sisters can be projected onto doorsteps from the Church's constellation of satellites. Early Morning Seminary teachers will also be rendered obsolete by MyHoloInstructor, but the donuts will still have to be real.
Sunday School
Yeah, people will have the Library of Congress' pile o' facts downloaded into their heads, but common sense will still be entirely lacking. There will be no shortage of need for deftly agile Sunday School teachers who can adroitly steer conversations away from Fanny Alger, Elijah Abel and David Whitmer's late-in-life unflattering rememberances.
The Millenium
The boom in technology and MicroSoft's succesful campaign to get WindowsCE installed on all all OLPCs will result in such a monstrous gap between the Haves and Have Nots, that the Lord will be required to punish the arrogance of the Gentile nations and bring about the Day of Wrath a few decades earlier and cut it the Tribulations from 7 years to 7 days. The ensuing Millennium will be OpenSource and GPL compliant, endorsed by Richard Stallman.
0 comments
Post a Comment