The last time Elder Ballard endorsed blogging, the 'Nacle was all a-twitter that a member of the 12 had taken note of its existence.

That notion was largely disabused here.

However, the more I read Elder Ballard's remarks, the more I'm convinced he is aware of the Nacle. Yes, 'Nacle, Elder Ballard knows about you!

Think about it:

Elder Ballard, speaking to young, newly-minted BYU-I grads:

... Elder Ballard suggested that graduates join in conversations on the Internet to share the gospel and to explain the message of the Restoration in simple, clear terms.

Elder Ballard, speaking to mothers with young children:

... don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet.

Prediction: Elder Ballard's October 2008 conference talk will be titled, "Lawyers Who Know."

Discuss.

Following up Zelph's statistical exercise in self-flagellation is the final installment of "Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics" or "Who Wasted the Most Time on the Bloggernacle?"











Which SAHM Neglected Their Children the Most?
1. Heather O., MMW: 190
2. fMhLisa, FMH: 106
3. The Wiz, MMW: 101
4. Deborah, ExII: 91
5. Julie M. Smith, T&S: 70

Who Placed Their Employment Status in the Greatest Jeopardy? *
1. Kaimi Wenger, T&S: 54,667
2. Kevin Barney, BCC: 54,447
3. Nate Oman, T&S, 36,480
4. Matt W., NCT: 34,450
5. J. Nelson-Seawright, BCC, 31,903
6. Steve Evans, BCC: 67

*John Dehlin's chart-topping category killers omitted since he can now blog professionally

It was only a matter of time. A mere 18 hours after General Conference had been adjourned came the FMH Conference Report. Eight hours of conference sessions and ECS can’t find a single positive thing to say about the addresses other than this morsel:

I think Elder Ballard meant well…

President Monson’s address – his closing remarks where he spoke at length of his beloved wife and her lengthy stay in a hospital after recuperating from a tragic fall – left ECS “disheartened”. Kinda makes me wonder exactly what it would take to impress ECS.

If the Church were to take ECS’ counsel to action, both mothers and fathers of young children would be exempted from callings other than hymnbook collecting. This begs the question - who would be left to run the wards and branches? No doubt complaints about ageism would flood the ‘nacle.

You can please all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but the gals over at FMH? No how, no way.

In usual SnarkerNacle fashion, we like to decry everything that is wrong about the Bloggernacle, and in this spirit we announce the 2007 Giblets, the horrid hairy-tongued aftertaste of the Nacle. In case you weren't around two years ago, we originally did it back then too. We didn't do it last year because we did the Niblets, and that ended up being so bad it was in and of itself the Giblets and doing another one again would have been horribly redundant. But, alas, poor Joseph Addison our anachronistic brother in snark was burdened, freeing up time for us to do the Giblets with some extra gravy!


Here is the list of Giblets categories we came up with thus far, to give you an idea of where it should go:

Best Blog Post About Court Case Winnings Including Fawning Over Righteousness of Winnings In Attempt to Convince Self it Hasn't Been Complete Waste of Time

Best Bloggernacle Big Blogger to Sneak Over to the DAMU Side and Drop the F-bomb Because Nobody on the Bloggernacle is Paying Attention to Him

Best Threadjacker on Anything Even Remotely Tangentially Kind Of Sort Of But Not Really Gay

Best New Big Group Blog Created Out of Obedience to GA Commands to Give Gay Ex-Mos a Place in the Bloggernacle

Best New Aggregator Created to Shoehorn DAMU Blogs Into the Bloggernacle

Biggest Blog for Sex/Transgender/Gender/Breastfeeding/Gential Mutilation Posts Gone Totally Awry

Biggest Conservative Group Blog to Fade Away Most Unnoticeably

Best Crazed Personal Attack Over Something Totally Irrelevant, Like Snacks At Church or Plastic Toys in Nursery

Best Blog Post About Miserable Misunderstood Europeans Who Suffer Mightily at the Hands of Naive American General Authorities

Best Blog Post Exposing the Foibles of Church Presidents Making it Easier for us to Falsley Justify Our Sins

Best Blogger Who Goes Completely Bonkers When Commenting on Abortion

Now, feel free to submit whatever category you like and they will all get piled into the mess.

Then, unlike JA's elitist group of "whiney and wrong" self-promoting category nominators, you, yes you beloved gentle reader, will have the power, the unmitigated, raw, burgeoning power of nominating whoever the heck you please for any and all categories. Oh, sweet pleasure of vanity! You too can nominate yourself anonymously just like they did. Or, you can rise above narcissistic vanity and actually nominate someone else. Your choice. Why wait for DKL to tally up your Niblet votes when you can voice your opinion here and now? (Wait a minute, I seem to recall him complaining about the lack of transparency in the nomination and voting process in last year's Niblets, and yet he participated as one of the secret nominators and now he is running the votes off the blog site he administers. I guess when it comes to transparency, it is all relative.)