1 Behold, I direct mine epistle to DKL, in the blog of Mormon Mentality, who is the chief admin over the blog.
2 For behold, I have somewhat to say unto him by the way of condemnation; for behold, he hath been appointed to resurrect LDSElect.org, and supply it with servers, and with PHP code, and all manner of bandwidth of every kind, and send forth competition against the Archipelago.
3 And now behold, I say unto you that myself, and also my kindred snarkers, have suffered exceedingly great sufferings; yea, even boredom, banishment, and fatigue of mind.
4 And now behold, we desire to know the cause of this exceedingly great neglect; yea, we desire to know the cause of your "403 - Forbidden" state.
5 Is it that ye have neglected us because ye are employed and ye are surrounded by family, that ye do not cause aggregation to be displayed unto us?
6 Will ye sit in idleness and do nothing to help those thousands round about who do also sit in Bloggernacle idleness?
7 Behold it is time, yea, the time is now at hand, that except ye do bestir yourself and reboot LDSElect, the wrath of Snarkernacle doth hang over you; yea, and it shall fall upon you and visit you even to your utter humiliation.
8 Behold, I wait for aggregation feeds from you; and, except ye do administer unto my relief (or provide me with source code), behold, I come unto you, even in the blog of Mormon Mentality, and smite you with the snark.
9 Behold, I am Dazzle of Snarkernacle. I seek not for power, but to pull it down. I seek not for the honor of the Bloggernacle (for their is no such thing) but the glory of satire, and the snarking and mocking of the masses. And thus I close mine epistle.
Great Scott!
Everyone knows the world won't end until AT LEAST after October 21, 2015. I've known this since 1989, when I saw "Back to the Future II".
Relax, people. There's still plenty of time to repent.
Last month fmhLisa's sex toy comment caused me to scrub my eyes with bleach. She seems to have another case of TMI-tis. (FWIW I didn't get past the first sentence)
I usually try to steer clear of any particular story of conversion to the gospel. Everyone has their own personal story – some make for better reading then others, but to each his/her own. Likewise I’m usually hesitant to comment on anyone’s “de-conversion” or “de-activation”. Some call it a “crisis of faith” or “coming to grips with why women aren’t allowed to say a closing prayer in sacrament meeting”.
Simply put, there are other ‘nacle posts worth reading.
Of course, then there’s John Remy. I’m sure he’s got an interesting story as to what led to him getting a letter from his Stake President inviting him to come down to the Stake Center for a conversation with the Pres and the High Council. Something having to do with having “been in apostasy”.
Bummer, dude. That’s a pretty high bar to clear these days.
Some people quietly fade into apostasy, but not John Remy. He’s posted his top five reasons why he won’t just leave the scene – not without getting every last ounce of internet spotlight he can. Reading this chronicle is almost like listening to the guy plead his case to the undertaker in Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail. I’m willing to hazard a guess that John won’t be stone cold ex’d by Thursday.
This leaves me with just one question for Brother Remy, and I found an excellent medium of communication for it.
And again, for the record, we here at the Snarkernacle like girls with big…blogs.
What do you mean the Bloggernacle Won't Save Me?! And what exactly do you mean by "the Bloggernacle can be deceptive"?
Are you telling me that I should have been going to church, reading my scriptures, and paying tithing this WHOLE time?
And those people living in my house... uh, I forget her name, that woman... she has those kids who resemble me... you mean... I should spend time with them? But what about getting published in Dialogue?
Look, I read that article in the Ensign and MMORPG's aren't anything like the Bloggernacle! So the Bloggernacle has been practically endorsed by the brethren. I mean, Elder Ballard is totally into blogging!
P.S. But I TOTALLY agree about how cool it is to get a response from a perma! It's like a total thrill going up my leg! Once, a perma actually asked me for my email address! Swoon!
The Segullah Sisters are having a heated conversation over the legitimacy of "enhancement" surgery.
The real debate on this post is in the comments where I had to bite my tongue to keep from adding the comments that crossed my red blooded American mind. After talking it over with Rev. Dazzle, we've concluded that we'll add this one comment to the mix:
Here at the Snarkernacle, we like girls with big...blogs.
