I love blogging because at its very core it is an exercise in self-indulgent excess. It is all about me and how clever I am and why you should pay attention to me and my ramblings. Because of that, I, the sNarcissist, am introducing a new feature highlighting prominent, exemplary, stunning and extraordinary feats of self-absorption in blogging. Examples to us all. Pillars in the Bloggernacle.

This week: Connor Boyack's Conundrums

Just click on the link above, and when you get there, refresh it over and over again. You will have the utter pleasure of seeing lots of pictures of Connor. Most people hide from stalkers. Not Connor. This single 20something man is eager to be stalked, since his blogging is interfering with is his dating prospects.

If you can get past the seemingly endless Connor photo cascade and redundant links to all of his latest shindigs, including being the top ranked listing at his own Sustain'd, move on to the posts wherein he answers questions nobody has asked of him, brags up his Mom (who writes books Ms. Smith isn't all that impressed with, so now she has the opportunity to judge her writings by Connor's online activities, not that Ms. Smith would ever judge anyone), praises Hitler for insights which closely match his own, praises his own orthodoxy and mormanity, and so on and so on. No wonder he is having trouble finding a help meet. Me? I have Echo. Connor? He disparages Democrats and Republicans alike, so I guess he is going to marry himself a Constitution Party Hottie, at least as hot as he is.

Awww, yeah, should be easy!
Mackin the babes that believe 9/11 was a lie!

Next week: You

John "I heart DAMU" Dehlin's Mormon Stories has been shut down. The usual rumors swirl around ("It got too big for him", "He couldn't deal with the fame", "It was eclipsing his real life", "His membership was threatened by the Church", "His dog ate the hard drive"). But, the sNarcissist knows the truth, as only the sNarcissist could. Here is what really happened: Brandon Flowers was the last person John posted on. Now Brandon is a lovely boy, almost every bit as lovely as me. But, he has this whole "and you can't be a Mormon and be cool! But I'm trying my best!" thing going on, and then John outs him on the Bloggernacle. Humiliated by the extraordinary social force in Mormonism that the Bloggernacle is, Brandon was publicly embarrased in front of all Mormondom and swore vengeance on Dehlin for it. So, he used his Rock n' Roll powers of influence to have John's site taken down to spare him any further problems among the Mormon community, who still think Flowers is the neatest thing since Donny O. Oh, It is so sad when someone's pride gets the best of them and they throw a little tantrum like this, but this is just a lesson to all in the Bloggernacle: Don't mess with poweful pretty boys, they will kill you.

Rumor has it Steve "Super Genius" Evans is going to resurrect his weekly curelom-laden podcast to fill the void left by Dehlin on all Mormon's iPods. If you do, please do have Mark Butler on as a guest, as he is no doubt going to send the Millennial Star arcing through the Nacle sky like a comet.

While I’d normally stick to snarking ‘nacle posts, the Nacle has been rather uninterestingly boring of late. When I need a good laugh, I check the BYU Newsnet to see what controversy is stirring amongst the Cougars in Provo. Yesterday’s Daily Universe was no disappointment.

(Partial Disclosure – I am a BYU grad, in case that matters.)

It seems that this past Tuesday’s devotional featured dance performances. The Cougarette Dance Team performed a routine choreographed to the hymn Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. I didn’t see the routine, so I can’t really comment on whether or not it was well done. However, should you want a review, you could ask Heidi McLaren or Rebecca Fluckiger – two BYU students who watched the performance and were, by their own admission, shocked, appalled, and horrified.

It drove them to such hysteria they were inspired to use a big descriptive word to illustrate their feelings. They described the performance as blasphemous. Take a few centuries off the calendar and blasphemy could get you stoned, burned, or otherwise deprived of life itself. Yes, somehow a Cougarette dance team managed to stray into the realm of irreverence and profanity.

That, for me, is just a bit of a stretch. More likely, however, is the possibility that Heidi and Rebecca fall into the category of church member which believes any use of hymns outside the chapel is heresy. These young women remind me of girls who would audibly gasp in surprise and near horror when I would crack open a can of Mountain Dew in the Wilk to wash down my lunch. And here I thought the Footloose mentality was limited to a movie shot in Lehi.

Memo to Heidi and Rebecca: Dear Sisters, loosen up! You obviously missed or did not even bother to read The Preacher’s counsel regarding dance. Just because somebody’s use of music and dance does not conform to your narrow interpretation of “acceptable” doesn’t mean it’s vile, irreverent, or profane.

You both might want to think about that before you go unsheathing a word you picked up from your Old Testament class vocabulary list.

Why start at the bottom like everyone else, when you can promote yourself to box number one on your own index site? That is precisely what any self-respecting narcissist would do, and that is what endears me to DKL. His unapologetic willingness to put himself first, where he belongs, is a sterling example to all of us. Why feign humility when it is just an act of deception? Nope, when you are number one, you may as well shout it from the roof tops. Nice work, DKL, and all you others as well. Especially great kudos on that original and innovative blog design, it is almost as beautiful as you, but nowhere near as beautiful as me.

... blogs*.

The FMH gals have been taking their measurements, and now share them with the world!

The results? The FMH girls are well-endowed with plenty of web traffic. And that's good news, because the Nacle loves girls with big... blogs.

And, ouch! While strutting her stuff, fmhLisa suggests that Julie and Rosalynde are padding!

* Sheesh, what were you thinking?? Didn't you guys listen to conference at all? Tsk tsk, boys, how dare you stare like that!

T&S Permabore Russell Arden Fox is mad.


He’s outraged. He’s downright furious at every single Mormon in Congress. He’s so mad his anger even extends to those church members who were within a 15 mile radius of the capitol building last Thursday when the Congress passed legislation detailing requirements for the detention and interrogation of foreign thugs who would like nothing better than to blow up as many Americans as possible.

I think it can be safely said that a good percentage of Nacclites lean to the left side of the political spectrum. Any post remotely related to US politics, the Global War on Terror, or similar subjects has only to be up for a matter of hours before President Bush is compared to Hitler, Vice-President Cheney is compared to Mussolini, and Donald Rumsfeld is declared to be the Devil Incarnate.

While Russell does admit the problems inherent with putting thugs like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed on trial in an open forum which would make the OJ trial look like an afternoon with Judge Judy, he offers no alternative. Terrorist thugs should be granted all the rights of due process in the federal court system despite the fact that if they were not manacled to the defense table they’d be attempting to bring the building down.

While I will agree with Russell on the fact that the Constitution was written and established by “wise men….raised up” for that purpose, I believe Russell missed a very important part of the document they wrote. When referencing war, the founders gave specific powers to two of the three branches of government. Congress has the authority to declare war. The President, acting in his role as Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, has the authority to wage war. Conspicuously absent from any role in war declaring or war fighting is the Judicial Branch.

Perhaps the Founders were well read in Shakespeare and perceived the dangers inherent in fighting a war on the floor of a courtroom.

Keep in mind there are many who support exactly what you have so elequently written here!!!! And most of all, that is me, me, ME! There aren't enough exclamation points for me to insert here to explain how much I agree with you, and how much I want to guest post on T&S, because we are all peas in a pod. Yes, Russell, I could have written it a little better myself, but I have been so busy with other pressing issues, so thank you so very much for so articularly speculating on Joseph Smith's alleged position on an issue he obviously would have agreed with us on. I mean, any politicians who agree with us are obviously inspired and any we disagree with are clearly childish and craven. That just goes without saying, but thanks for saying it. I mean, who are these people anyway? It isn't like they know anything at all about law, politics or any of that stuff. We are obviously better able to tell them how to govern, I mean, come on. I think it is time for some grandstanding, because the terrorists have won if we don't do a little granstanding so we can force a fundamental change in our societal framework. I mean...oh, whatever. Yeah, it is just so obvious that anyone who takes the Sacrament should be totally against this...this...this...deflowering of our virgin daughters. Not that I have any daughters, but if I did, it would be like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And America is so much like the Khmer Rouge. Oh, its so awful it makes a person not want to be an American! Oh, wait, I'm Greek. Yay for me! I don't have to part of this awful, oppressive regime that tramples on the Constitutional rights of people who aren't even citizens!!! But, I will still complain about it vehemently to prove I am against the American Mormon Church mainstream. Yippee!!!!! But, I would still like to be the gazillionth person to say I agree fully, totally and 100%ly with Russell, because he, like me, really knows what he is talking about and is totally right...I mean left...I mean...right in being left...correct that is. Like me. Because I am always ri...correct.