The normally pedestrian Faith-Promoting Rumor, formally the 'Naccle's #1 Site for unsolicited obscure scriptural explication, has been taken over by some sort of strange giant-brained life form with an ego whose size has never been seen outside a university setting. Personally, we here at Snarkernacle LTD have no idea why the average Saint would be wary of something like this:

Kants conception of autonomy requires us to respect the dignity of others by respecting there choices. Clearly Mormons are not Kantian is this sense. Mormons do approach questions about right and wrong with a deontological form of divine command theory. However, I do not see much of an appreciation for reason, universal rationality, and particularly liberty rooted in autonomy.

To be honest I think that LDS theology is not philosophical enough (or systematic enough). I think part of this is that we as a conservative people are wary of intellectual approaches to faith.

So in the spirit of FPR's [in]famous surveys, we'd like to propose one of our own:

Which topic would be most appropriate as a formal introduction to LDS thought for your friends and neighbors?

A. Deontological forms of divine command theory

B. Conflations leading to a Kierkegaard-type position

And stay tuned for next week's survey, when we ask the question "Can the Kierkegaard-type position be used by consenting adults married in the temple?"

After that, we'll be taking up the moral implications of improperly using homonyms of "their" and do save up all your change because we are taking up of a collection for a new ostomy bag to assist in HP's blogging.

*CLICK!*



Tonight, on 2News at 10:00... Bill Gephardt delves into the mysterious world known to few as "The Bloggernacle".




Who are these crazy whack jobs? And what are they doing with your information? Plus, Bill's recommendations for dealing with Nacle "stalkers". Tune in tonight! Now, a word from our sponsors...




Hi, I'm SuperDell from Toooootally Bankrupt Computers!




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I'm Carol Mikita, Religion Correspondent for KSL-TV. I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the self-proclaimed creator of the loose collection of websites referred to as the "Bloggernacle". When we return, you will hear the story of how this quasi-apostate, online religious mecca rocketed to prominence in the minds of a select few... wait, I'm sorry, I'd better stick to the teleprompter text given to me by the K-Man.... "rocketed to prominence in the lives of everyday Church members throughout the world."




Thank you, Carol. Nice catch there with the script. Let's get a quick check on the Bloggernacle forecast. Mark?




Thank you, Dick. You know, I've been predicting weather in the Beehive State for years. I've seen some crazy things in my day, from unpredictable lake-effect snows to the Tornado of '99. But nothing compares to the long-term Nacle forecast.




First, we see a troubling development near FMH and BCC. Keep your eyes on this one, as we can expect isolated SnarkStorms along this front.




As you can see from our exclusive NacleCam network, things are pretty dry over at T&S--no shortage of hot air for those folks. Remember, stay indoors and drink plenty of liquids!




In addition, we're going to see something that appears to be a regular occurence in the Nacle microclimate... That is, the total eclipse of both faith and common sense! This is just astonishing...




It looks like we will have new record lows throughout the Nacle. The faith barometer just seems to be bottomless in these parts, though we do have a slight chance of testimony later in the week.




In short, it will be more of the same ole, same ole. Back to you.




*CLICK!*

Want your kid to outshine the rest in Seminary with a very, very deep knowledge of the sciptures? Tired of your kids being forced to chant "God is a Spirit, He doesn't have a body" over and over again? Shouldn't your kids spend some time correcting the teacher regarding some of his or her misinterpretations of the Bible?


You need Geoff B's Hooked on Apologetics!

Kit includes:

Complete DVD set of Living Scriptures, a hardcover copy of The Truth About the God Makers, Defeating Darwinism by Opening Minds, and Mere Christianity. Of course, the set includes Geoff B's nightly family scripture study schedule rotating matrix and audio tapes of the favorite lectures his children ask for time and again ("Why Mitt Romney should be President", "Politics, Religion and Marriage", "Evolution:The Lie Your Science Teacher Loves", "HBO, Polygamy and You" and "Raydnecks is so durn Funnay!"), all of which are sure to impart the wisdom of the scriptures to your child.

This easy-to-use program eases your child into apologetics with straight-forward rote memorization using fun and colorful cartoonish flip cards and mnemonic tricks. It covers all of the standard evangelical anti-mormon and atheistic attacks on the LDS faith. So start preparing your child now to win the confrontations they will inevitably face.


No guarantee is promised, expressed or implied that use of this program with your child will result in them remaining faithful and active in the LDS Church. Results may vary.

With a tag line of "OT vs. T&S" you sit there hoping for a Bloggernacle version of Celebrity Deathmatch between the Canadian big blog and the American big blog, with much bloodshed and gratuitous violence. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. However, Kim does point to an interesting tool that presents what appears to be a reasonably robust measure of a web site's readability.

Lets compare, for example, Jim F's most impenetrable post ever, the Dear Jane Doe letter (which left the intended recipient nonplussed) results with that of fMh's infamously awful Sex Talk thread results. Obvious outcome, right?



What? Hey, wait a minute. fMh is more foggy and less easy to read than T&S? Whoa. Props to the gals at fMh for being the most educated and smartest sounding blog, moreso than T&S! You go girl!

Well, I guess that proves that all of us here at SnarkerNacle were wrong when we said that T&S was the most pretentious blog on the Nacle! T&S, we are so sorry for all those nasty things we said about you all being pedantic and pretentious. I mean, clearly, you aren't the smartest, most clever, most scholarly, most erudite blong on the Nacle when fMh's worst thread beats your best example of abstruce incarnate. Big obsequious apologies to all you T&S permabores, from all of us here at SN Industries LTD. Will you ever forgive us? Please?

That seems to be the question – at least over at BCC.

I’m hesitant to add my two-cents to a post that has already been Snarked, but some things were said in the BCC comments that cried out to be snarked upon.

The basic questions posed by Ronan are:

Can snark ever be civil? Should the ‘nacle support Snarkey? Was the Mormon Archipelago right to boot them? Should the curtain be pulled back?

These questions suggest an air of arrogant supremacy (speaking of 'nacle bigwigs generally, not Ronan specifically) in all things Bloggernacle related. It assumes the ability of the ‘nacle bigwigs of BCC, T&S, M*, et al to curtail "support" for the Snarker in addition to the capability of said entities and/or individuals to expose those of us associated with Snarking. I submit that if such exposure were possible, it would already have taken place. The frustration of ‘nacle bigwigs in this effort must be maddening.

As for civility – there are those among us in the ‘nacle who will take offense if any contrarian views or comedic fun are had at their expense. They believe they have a God given right to express their views – however warped or misguided they may be – in a public forum for all to see, hear, read, and enjoy.

You know what? To do so is their right and they have the ability to pontificate to the limit allowed by the collective bandwidth available to them. That said, my ability to poke holes in ever-expanding egos is governed under the same tenets under which the ‘nacle bigwigs post their thoughts.

There is an ever raging debate about what exactly is Snarkworthy. The Snarker/Snarkette and I have, at times, disagreed on this standard. Most of the time, I don’t snark people relating their personal trials and tribulations – unless they happen to be related in a manner which causes me to spew my morning Diet Coke on my computer monitor because the story is so frigging hilarious. Yes, Tracy M., I’m talking about you. I try, and often fail, to keep away from snarking the FHM’ers more than once a week. Believe me, this takes a discipline which I have not yet entirely mastered.

Basically, if you’re going to take pot-shots at the Brethren, claim that your personal opinion is more valid than established Doctrine, or trumpet the Sunstoned Symposium over General Conference – and I have the time, energy, and disposition to do so – you’re going to get snarked. Sometimes I’ll take a comedic course, other times I’ll just point out what I find to be ludicrous.

What will most likely drive the ‘nacle bigwigs even further nuts is the fact that I don’t need or require ‘nacle support to participate in this blog. Read if you like. Comment if you feel so inclined. Either way, my ego is secure. Sorry to disappoint, Kaimi.

For the record, I do not know the Snarker/Snarkette. Neither Dazzle nor I have ever met or spoken with any other member of the Snarker Team. If the ‘nacle bigwigs desire to "expose" me, I invite them to take their best shot.

So, to answer Ronan’s question – yes, the fact that no one is forced to read the Snarker is relevant. Far more relevant, however, is fact that his ability, and the ability of other ‘nacle bigwigs, to control what is Snarked is, in fact, non-existent.

That’s the way the ‘nacle turns.

Hi there Bloggernacle,

The people over at BCC have succesfully baited Kaimi into making a fool of himself, so there really isn't any point in anyone here even bothering with that. Other than point out to Kaimi that nobody here ever called you a "bastard", ever. So we have no idea what you are talking about there, other than trying to exagerate the offense to make it sound like we are worse than we are, just like your pals did yesterday.

We have told the Bloggernacle a number of times that the SnarkerNacle is a team effort. It still is a team effort. Kurt has outed himself because T&S was trying to blackmail him, but the rest of the people are not going to. And you know what? We aren't going to expose any of our sources either, and we have lots of them. There are a lot of people who are very active in the Nacle who send us snarks, snarks which get posted under the title "Snarker/Snarkette" because these people have something snarky to say and don't want the credit.

Why don't they want the credit? Because of what you saw on yesterday's post and on the post at BCC. T&S Julie acts all like a total shrill prima donna on M0 and gets called on it, and the T&S attack dogs twist it all around into an attack on her kids and family (which never happened) and then shovel truckloads of idiotic threats and demands for butt kissing. And, because of all the stupid nonsense Kaimi pulled, trying to get the Bloggernacle to boycott SnarkerNacle. It is this kind of behavior that makes people fear to say what they are thinking, so those people send it to us and we post it. And guess what? There are a lot of people out there who submit stuff who want to remain anonymous. Some submit ideas, and some submit complete snarks we cut and paste directly without editing, adding only links and maybe a pic.

So, the reality is, there are a lot of people in the Nacle, more than you would think, who submit material to us and have beefs they want to air. If you think we are obsessed with T&S, you are sadly mistaken. Only about half of the T&S related posts are from members of the Team SnarkerNacle, the rest are submissions we receive from average Naclers.

And, for the rest of you who think we aren't funny anymore, all I can say is submit something that you think is funny and we will put it up and give you credit if you want it.

One last thing. We here at SnarkerNacle have a 100% take down rate when it comes to offended persons approaching us in private via the e-mail address by intelligently explaining their position and why they are offended. Not once have failed to remove a post that offended the person in question who contacted us privately. Not once. Got it? And this has happened several times. Whenever people contact us privately, we always listen to them, take their view into account, and take corrective measures. Always. So, you idiots, and I do mean idiots, at T&S have a 100% failure rate at approaching us privately about posts that offend you. Instead, you wage a war. And you get what you deserve. You lie, distort and try to use your influence in the Bloggernacle to silence those who oppose you and promote those who kiss your butts (take Blogger of Jared for example). Well, you can forget it Kaimi, Frank, Nate. We here at SN will never, ever kiss your butts, no matter how many times you threaten to out us.

Finally, someone in the BCC thread asked about MSTP t-shirts, you can get them here.

Feel free to back up the dump truck and unload in the comments.

File under: Self help


Feeling bad about your parenting skills? Take a tip from Julie M. Smith in Austin and self-righteously attack other parents with things you don't do and you will feel better about yourself immediately. Never mind that you pawn your own kids off on others and then neglect them when they have play dates at your house, instead lash out at other mothers who take their kids to ballet, soccer and preschool then weakly apologize for their misunderstanding you and stomp off in a huff while insulting the person you just offended.

So, um, Julie, if you are against Preschool and outside activities and you are busy doing housework and "writing books" (self-published ponderous lists of unanswered questions) and you keep your kids out of your hair with chores and video games, then who is teaching your little ones the alphabet, numbers and good social skills? In other words, the stuff they would learn in preschool, if you sent them there, but don't because you would rather spend the money on "food storage or college funds or...consumer debt"...or new GameBoy games to keep the kids motivated to do chores (or is that the "consumer debt" you were referring to?).

Meet Julie's Babysitter (low hourly rates).