File under: You get what you pay for


Would you be my, could you be my, won't you be my neighbor? I'm glad we're together again. Let's see if Picture Picture has anything to show us today. Hi. Picture Picture, please show us the name of the film for today. Words. Oh, a film about words. That'll be good to look at. How graceful they are. Beautiful.

Let's look at the words in our Scriptures. Do you have Scriptures? I bet you do. They are the dusty books your parents carry around on Sunday, but don't look at the rest of the week. Do you know where they are? Good. That's right, go ahead and get them and follow along with me.

We won't actually read them, we'll just look at them, and notice they have neighbors too, just like you and I are neighbors. Words are put together in lines, called sentences. Can you say "sentences"? Good. These words that are next to each other in sentences are neighbors, and sometimes some words like to be close to other words more often because they play together well and sound nice. Point this out to your family and friends, and they will think you are smart and be impressed, even though you don't read them yourself.

File under: Blissful Ignorance

I have no idea what planet Lisa lives on, but here is her pseudo pro-fem rant du jour:

I’m just sick and tired of it, and I’m freakin’ pissed off at all the people telling me We don’t need feminists anymore, It isn’t true, We don’t value boys more than girls, We’ve achieved our goals, Girls can do anything.

Anything but be heard, anything but be seen, anything but be a freakin’ cartoon.

Um, Lisa, could you shut up for a minute and let me introduce you to a few of my fellow female cartoon friends (who are a lot more justifiably pissed that you say they don't exist):



And, I am sure you would reject all of the old Disney gals, since they are just weak, demaning charicatures of the kind of dewey-eyed does men like (sort of like Bambi's Mom, who sacrifices her life to save her son, which is stupid, but would have been cool if Bambi had been her daughter instead of her son), but what about the more recent agressive and independent ones, like Pocahontas, Ariel, Jasmine, Mulan and Esmeralda?

I could go on, but I think I have made my point. The selective use of biased statistics from Ms. Magazine does not accomplish anything useful for the cause of feminism.

Thanks,

Smurfette

File under: Scouser

UrbanDictionary.com is a collective public work where people can define slangerific words and then vote on the relative goodness of fit for submitted definitions. Well, someone has gone in an entered a definition for "bloggernacle" and, based upon the submitter's definition, it is pretty obvious they are both from BCC and British, since nobody in the USA, barring extreme anglophiles (of which BCC also has one known resident--so she is also suspect), knows what bollocks are, let alone blogocks. So, congrats, Ronan (or perhaps Elisabeth) on being the first to the pillory.

File under: Rationalization


If you invite Adam over for dinner, do not let him into your kitchen. If you do, he will sort your tupperware, randomly free associate, and then try to equate kleptomania with the United Order while packing the leftovers into your tupperware (the patented trademarked burping pastel ones since that is what he needs to round out his own collection), and write about it a post to the Bloggernacle...while eating your leftovers in his living room out newly acquired Tupperware.

Then again, if you do, that would be one of those great stories you tell dinner guests time and again about that one guy who came to dinner and somehow connected Napolean Dynamite with the Guantanamo Naval Detention Facility while absconding with your best plasticware.

P.S., Adam did the dishes for his wife on Mother's Day and considers it noteworthy, suggesting Adam doesn't usually do the dishes...except on Mother's Day. I guess he is too busy writing great content for Turds & Wheezins and the Dark Star to help out his wife in the kitchen.

Sure, T&S's content is staid and their permabores are largely dead wood, but that isn't what we are talking about today. We are talking about The Truth Laid Bare ecosystem ranking of blogs.


T&S claims to be a "Mormon Marsupial", a spoof of a Marauding Marsupial, but if you click the link there you discover that T&S isn't a Marauding Marsupial at all. Go to the TTLB website and check one category down, the Adorable Little Rodents, and there at 2157 is Times & Seasons. OOOPIES!


So what gives? They drop down in ecosystem ranking instead of climbing it, so someone breaks the front end T&S link to TTLB and fails to update their downgraded ranking? Or is it just sloppy administering? Not that anyone would ever accuse anyone there of that. But, if it was sloppy administering, why did the link behind "Mormon Marsupial" break? Hmm. Or is it just tough to admit your blog is getting smaller instead of bigger?

Thx anon tipster

Taking a comment from the Snarkette (comment 17), someone has lampooned the SnarkerNacle as the StalkerNacle. Mwwa haw haw.

Looking through the javascript queue of people who might show up on the Magic 8 ball, you have to wonder if the javascript author's vanity leaked into the list (scroll all the way down to the bottom):

qArray=new Array(
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Heather",
"Heather",
"Heather",
"Nate AND Heather",
"Nate AND Heather",
"Nate AND Heather",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate AND Heather",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"fMhLisa",
"fMhLisa",
"fMhLisa",
"Naiah",
"Naiah",
"a random John",
"Rusty",
"Rusty and Kaimi",
"Rusty and Kaimi",
"Steve EM. Eww.",
"Steve EM. Eww.",
"Steve EM. Eww.",
"BCC Apostates",
"BCC Apostates",
"BCC Apostates",
"BCC Apostates",
"BCC Apostates",
"T&S Permabores",
"T&S Permabores",
"T&S Permabores",
"T&S Permabores",
"T&S Permabores",
"Bannergaters",
"Bannergaters",
"Bannergaters",
"Mormon Archipeligiasts",
"Mormon Archipeligiasts",
"Darth Beth",
"Supergenius Evans",
"Supergenius Evans",
"The Millennial Black Hole",
"The Millennial Black Hole",
"The Tales Girls",
"The Tales Girls",
"Septimus Gibson",
"Septimus Gibson",
"Rosalynde",
"The Spinozist Mormon",
"Danithew",
"Bryce",
"Frank McIntyre",
"Adam G.",
"Kagey Kage",
"Kagey Kage",
"Naiah's Roxcettes",
"Naiah's Roxcettes",
"fMh Womyn",
"fMh Womyn",
"Kim Siever, eh",
"Kim Siever, eh",
"Geoff J., theologian",
"Geoff and Kristen",
"J. Stapley, chemist extraordinaire");

Hmmmm. And is this chemist extraodinaire also a javascript nrrrd extraordinaire? Stapley usually isn't this eager to promote himself, so it was probably the site creator's way of saying thanks, with a little brown nosing.

If you look at the SiteMeter link off the counter there on the bottom of the stalkernacle site, you can see the creator (you know its the creator because of the Visit Entry Page, Visit Exit Page, and Referring URL links) of the site spent about 47 minutes doing 69 page hits, and that person happens to live in San Diego, CA, which happens to be where Kaimi lives. SURPRISE! Which pretty much buttons it up that snarky's biggest fan (comment 18), who promised not to stalk us, is none other than our favorite Not-On-Sabbatical-T&Stard Kaimi Wenger! Although we suspect Stapley wrote the code, since Kaimi is obviously incapable of doing anything computer nrrrdy like writing javascript since he cannot even secure T&S against hackers. Nate might also have been involved, since he is the original snarker, and, obviously, Kaimi cannot do anything without Nate's blessing. So, this whole thing just turns into one big self-referential orgy of conceit.

Yay! So, Kaimi, here's to you being so eager to obtain tenure there at SDSU that you spend hours creating disposable one-joke websites that will fall into obscurity as soon as they get pushed off the T&S hit list, not to mention trolling on SnarkerNacle as our biggest pseudo-fan who hypocritically tries to get everyone else to boycott us while you keep on surfin on us. But, hey, do whatever you like, and do keep reading. We're flattered, so so so flattered. We love you too!

P.S., Couldn't you have at least pasted in a pic of a Magic 8 Ball? How hard is that?

Magic 8 Ball, T&S is old, tired and lame, isn't it?



Thx anon tipster.

File under: Crafty

[cue baseline from Led Zeppelin's "The Ocean"]

Well this guy posted to the Nacle says he is new in town
But the girls been sayin they seen him around
I thought they were right but I didn't really know
That guy sounded familiar and was talkin like a schmo
I think his name was Sep but they call him a schlep
I think I seen him in some bar doin country two step
The next think he said, "I'm kinda bananas
I got voices in mah head and am livin in Montana!"
We got into the cab of a rusty old truck
Smelled like an old man he said didnt cost him a buck
He said a little something about bein in counseling
So I made him stop the truck fore he needed a beating
I shouldn't have looked back man I'll always regret it
Something's going on and I'll probably never get it
He was crying like a baby - stupid dumb
It's just too bad that guy's a bum

He's crafty - he's gets around
He's crafty - he's always down
He's crafty - he's got a gripe
He's crafty - and he ain't my type
He's crafty